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Posted by on 2014 Dec 20 in Cam's Bipolar Blog | 0 comments

Hypo Mania – Extreme bout of Energy

Hypo Mania – Extreme bout of Energy

When I am hypo-manic, I feel like anything is possible. If I can imagine myself doing it, it can be done. Obstacles are merely there to keep it a challenge, and they may slow me down, but I can overcome those complications. It would seem impossible to stop me completely, but my fears remind me that there is a dark side to this feeling I am experiencing. These days everything is going my way; I see the brighter side of every picture. That does not mean I don’t remember what the rival emotion, depression, might entail. For every up, I have an equal or greater descent. Yet every time I rise to this level of self-confidence, I can’t help but strive to stay here.

As I remember saying years ago, while feeling this exact way: “With my head in the clouds, I try to keep at least one foot on the ground.” I think I only require one foot to touch, to be considered grounded. The mental juices are flowing though, and I am full of ideas on how to propel myself in the direction I am heading. I will grasp this feeling with all my being, and rely on the support and reinforcement of my family and peers to help.

Hypo-mania is everything like being manic, but without the psychosis. While I feel great, and am extremely happy and energetic, I haven’t lost touch with reality. I am not about to liquidate my assets, drive to my private transport company, and catch the next plane that is leaving the airport. I am not about to buy an expensive vehicle, and take on a loan I can’t pay back. I’m not, nor have I recently, communicated with a news broadcast on TV. I might do something else this time, if I let this hypo-mania get out of control. It’s a fine line, and I try to stay on the side of responsibility and rationality. Hypo-mania isn’t the mood that landed me in a mental ward in 2008, being manic did.

Here are some symptoms from PsychCentral:

  • Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
  • Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
  • More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
  • Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
  • Distractibility (e.g., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
  • Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
  • Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

 

I think my friends would say that they prefer when Hypo-Cam is around; he’s a lot more fun. It’s hard to socialize when I’m in bed all day and somewhat depressed. When my mood is elevated, I am up for pretty much anything, at any time of day. I tend to spend more money on all kinds of things. It’s more likely I’ll pay for rounds instead of my own drink. It’s more likely I’ll swipe my credit card for things that I like, want, and need. I’m not quite handing out $20s to homeless people, but I will find a way to empty my wallet.

I think my family on the other hand, would say they like some things about Hypo-Cam, but they mostly worry. It would appear I am juggling sharp knives, while on a motorcycle, in the middle of a hurricane, going double the speed limit, on very little sleep. Who would even imagine such a scenario? They worry about the worst possible scenario in any given situation I get myself into. I am questioned on some of decisions I make, or am about to make, even if these ideas only seem beneficial in my mind. I can give a great example of a time when someone should have listened: Bitcoin. If you don’t know about Bitcoin yet, go to https://bitcoin.org/en/faq. If you don’t care, I encourage you to still read on.

If or when my world is rocked and warped into a reality only my mind can see, my family and friends will stand on guard, waiting for Hypo-Cam to get a grip on the reality of the real world. It is with glowing modesty that I admit I notice how people around me treat me as if I were a super hero, if merely in playful humor, or like I could literally save the world. I am proud and grateful to those of you who know me well, and those who meet me and remember pleasant things… Even if they do seem a little far out.

On a side note about Bitcoin… So I found this new type of money on the internet. It’s highly sophisticated, and didn’t go mainstream until the price skyrocketed. I first learned of it in January of 2013, and became more interested in it over that summer. I toyed with the idea of putting money into it. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I was not encouraged by a single person to buy Bitcoin. The price was way too volatile, but I liked it. I let my conscience and lack of funds get the better of me, and I didn’t buy it when I wanted to. I cried as I watched the price climb, and climb some more. It was a hard lesson to learn. The story continues into my bad idea of investing into Bitcoin at the wrong time but still using it as it was intended: as an internet-currency. None of my trades were life-changing money, but it could have gone differently.

As always, if you find this post helpful, entertaining, or have any questions/concerns, send me a message. Post a comment. Share. Many thanks.

If you would like to see a price history of Bitcoin starting from when I learned of it, go to http://bitcoincharts.com/charts/virtexCAD#rg730zczsg2013-01-01zeg2014-11-29ztgSzm1g10zm2g25

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